Lately have not been able to goof and fool around in this column. Not that I want to literally because, at the end of the day, there still must be a few takeaways from what you are reading here.

I mean, you are spending at least two minutes, if you are a speed reader, to go through this column and I do not want any of your time to be wasted. There is a lot a person can do in two minutes.

If you are online, you have watched a short video clip on YouTube. If you are in a fast-food chain, that is one burger going down your stomach. If you are a fitness buff, that represents a few pushups and sit-ups. If you are in the office, that is already one e-mail reply sent. Get the picture?

Anyway, once a year, I get the chance to meet and talk to William Bailey. If you do not know the man, he is currently the managing director of Asian Corporate Network Inc. and treasurer of the British Chamber of Commerce Philippines.

I am pretty sure that soon enough, Bill, as he is more popularly known in the business community, will be featured in this BusinessMirror section as he has so many interesting stories to tell.

In fact, I find him to be a perfect fit for any late-night show ala Late Show with David Letterman. But sadly, Filipinos have yet to catch on with that type of television programming.

I met up with Bill during the European Chamber of Commerce of the Philippines (ECCP) annual Golf Challenge during the month of May. He has been its tournament director for the longest of time. Prior to that, he was also the ECCP chairman for four years.

So, when the ECCP held its golf tournament at the Santa Elena Golf Club in Laguna, there was no way I was missing the chance to see him in action in the golf course and on the stage as the host of the awarding program.

In all likelihood, I could never describe how funny it was but one of his opening lines, with his British accent, during the awarding was—“Unless your surname is None, then no one gets the prize for a hole in one.”

I was laughing in stitches in my seat but cannot go loud as there was little laughter all around. I guess most of those present there still cannot appreciate British sarcasm as a form of humor. That humor was so much present during the awarding ceremony

But that was not even the best part. When I got the chance to talk to Bill after the whole event was wrapped up and I asked him how he did in the golf course, his quick retort was: “My best shot of the day was the ceremonial tee off.” That brought me to laughter again.

And get this, here are the words he used to describe his day at the golf course—ok, rubbish, great, horrible, lucky, good and excellent.

I do not know about you but those are lines you could probably use to describe how your day went, time in the office, your boss, the girlfriend or the wife, the legs of your new female officemate, the food you just ate, the traffic, and the politicians we have in the country.

Golf probably cuts across every aspects of life and there is a reason a lot of people want to play the game no matter how badly they swing at the ball. Google Charles Barkley and golf.

Some argue that people do not actually play golf for the game itself but go to a golf course because they see it as a source of power. They say that people in the golf course are the people you want to meet. Think decision-makers, government officials, politicians and company presidents.

Never mind the scorching heat or the rains that is associated with the game. Never mind the expensive golf club membership. Never mind the pricey investment in a set of golf clubs and clothes.

Golf, for all intent and purposes, is a networking activity that might lead an individual to a job promotion, a new career, big fat contract, or, at the very least, knowing the latest gossips in the government and the business community.

Here is the thing. I have yet to play the game outside of the free computer games available but, maybe, the thing you hear about golf being better than sex might just be right.

It will probably give you more satisfaction than all the loud umps and ahhs combined when you rub elbows with the upper echelons of society and you get to call each other on a first name basis.

It is also more logical to think that you can burn more calories playing a round of golf than a round of acrobatics in bed.

Playing golf also preaches patience, a lot of patience to those who play the game. The call of the wild, on the other hand, probably has an attention deficit hyperactivity disorder. Boom boom pow and it is done.

Then there is the fact that when you play golf, you get to ride or drive a golf cart. It is like a toy for the big boy. Do you know that a golf cart could cost at least P225,000? It is a very cool vehicle to drive.

But then again, golf has so much eye candy also for the male species. Just watch the Ladies Professional Golf Association tour and get a glimpse of golfers like Sandra Gal, Sydnee Michaels, Christel Boeljon, and of course, Michelle Wie, then tell me how interested are in the game.

At 1.68 inches, golf has one of the smallest balls in all of sports. But those who play the game have, figuratively, bigger balls in the way they want to conduct and live their lives.

Next time around, I will attempt at coming up with a list of 18 lessons that can be learned from playing golf. 

Source: Business Mirror